Exactly One Year From Today

One year ago today, Tammy's journey began when she had her gall bladder surgery and the doctor found the lymphoma. What a year it has been. It's amazing what prayer, friends and family can do for you...plus a very potent chemo cocktail! Thank you for the wonderful support as Tammy experienced her journey. We look forward to a healthy 2010!

Below is the family's newsletter that was sent out for Christmas. We hope everyone enjoyed their holidays. And one more thing...Tammy is finally on Facebook. Search for her at: Tammy Rose Llamas.

With Love & Gratitude,
Julie Rickman

Merry Christmas Everyone!

Here we are Christmas 2009; I can’t believe it is already here! We have definitely had a busy and challenging year, but are extremely grateful to be celebrating Christmas as a family.

As most of you know I was diagnosed on January 8^th with Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma, it was at stage 4 and was called Burkitts Lymphoma. It was an aggressive form of lymphoma, however it is also curable. I endured 8 rounds of chemo, each round consisted of 4-5 days in the hospital, I finished the last one in early October. Even though the chemo made me sick, knocked my energy down to zero, made me lose my hair, and had many other unpleasant side effects, it also got rid of the cancer…so it was worth it! My initial PET and CAT scans and bone marrow biopsy all show clean, no cancer in sight. I will continue with follow up visits to the oncologist, but as far as I’m concerned I kicked its butt! And I couldn’t have done it without all the prayers and support from our friends and family. God Bless all of you! I hope you know how much your kindness and generosity meant to me and my family.

Other than fighting cancer I did find time and energy throughout the year for some fun things. I enjoyed going to the kids’ soccer and baseball games and volunteering at their school to help with classroom parties and activities. Mark and I made our annual trip to the Bluegrass Festival in Winfield. Things were a little tamer for me this year; however we had a great time and really enjoy getting together with our friends to have a weekend filled with music and fun. Mark and I also went to Crue Fest in August; this was a concert with 5 hard rock bands, including our favorite Motley Crue. One of Mark’s customers knew we liked the Crue and he is good friends with a well-known KC rock radio deejay and mentioned to him our situation and the deejay gave us the tickets. It was a great time, even though I had to sit down through a lot of it (didn’t have the strength to stand up and rock out like I usually do). However, I really enjoyed just hanging out with my family and friends, hearing from friends on the Caring Bridge site and taking great joy in all the little things in life. I don’t take them for granted anymore!

Andrew hit the double digits in September turning 10, but he thinks he’s about 18. He again played basketball, soccer, baseball and football this year, he continues to improve his playing skills and we love watching him play. He also took a shine to golf this year, which of course has his Papa very pleased. And then this fall he took an interest in pheasant hunting and he and his daddy really enjoy this father-son experience. He hunted with Mark 5 days in a row over Thanksgiving in Sterling. Didn’t shoot any birds but loved being out there; however he did tell us “I missed the best meal of the day (breakfast) to go out and shoot nothing”. Andrew is doing very well in school; he loves geography, spelling and math and was elected to Stuco again this year. We had to get him glasses in September, and they make him look so much older. We can’t believe how much he is growing and all that he has become…where did my baby boy go?

Kaitlynn turned 7 in June and is in 2^nd grade. She loves school and is doing very well in her classes. She loves to read to us, her cousin Patrick and her stuffed animals. She also played basketball, soccer, and softball. Kaitlynn also started playing golf this year and Papa says she has a pretty good swing. She started playing tennis this year as well, I loved watching her on the court in her little tennis outfits. I didn’t have the energy to play with her this year but plan on getting on the court with her next year. Kaitlynn loves to help us cook and bake, she says she wants to be a Chef when she grows up. I think we all know she got the cooking gene from her dad and not me. I think she got the love of shoes gene from me! About a week before Thanksgiving Kaitlynn had her hair cut really short and donated the hair to Locks of Love, which makes wigs for children that have lost their hair to cancer or other illnesses. This is the second time Kaitlynn has donated her hair. We are so proud of her for giving of herself to help others. She is growing up so fast, and getting a little sassy as well (I’m sure another one of Mark’s genes) but she will always be our baby girl!

This year was especially hard on the kids, not being able to have their mom around like they were used to, even their dad too. But they are such strong and resilient children and Mark and I are so blessed to have them.

Speaking of Mark, he also had a very busy and challenging year. He took such great care of me and the kids, all the while keeping his business running and growing. His lawn and landscape business continued to grow this year, which kept him very busy. He has great customers and they were so supportive to us this year with their kindness and prayers. Mark didn’t have a lot of free time this year between working and taking care of me and the kids, so I know he is looking forward to a less challenging 2010.

And Poncho, he is doing very well. He has had a few hunting trips with Mark and Andrew and loves looking for those birds. He was also a tremendous comfort to me while I’ve been home. I loved snuggling up with him when I was resting on the couch. He always seemed to know when I needed to be comforted. I think he will miss me when I go back to work, I know I will miss him.

Even though this year was filled with many challenges, it had way more blessings! Cancer is no fun and I hope to be rid of it forever, however I took so many positive things away from this experience. Probably the most important is how much I value my family and friends. All of you bring such joy to me and my family and I thank you for that! Our wish to you during this Holiday season is that you experience wonderful Joy, Peace, and great Health in 2010 and many years thereafter!

Love,

Tammy, Mark, Andrew & Kaitlynn

A Message From The Heart

Tammy

On October 20th at approximately 1:00pm I got the news we all had been hoping and praying for. My doctor's office called with the results from my PET and CAT scans...they were normal. Actually she used a lot of medical jargon and I kept asking is that good news. I finally asked "So what you are saying is there is no cancer detected in my body?" and she said that is correct. I let out a big Woo Hoo and just kept thanking her.

I immediately called Mark and through my crying and tears told him the good news. I then called my mom and she just kept thanking God. Then I called my dad, and I can only think of a couple of times I've seen my dad choked up or cry, and he started to get choked up and I could tell he was fighting back tears and I of course was crying. We were just both so happy to hear the good news. Then I called Mark's family and some of my friends I was just so happy and couldn't wait to spread the glorious news. I can't tell you the feeling that came over me when I heard that I was cancer-free. A huge weight was lifted from me and I felt reborn.

This has been a very long road with several bumps and potholes along the way, however there is no way I could have gotten through it without the help of many people. First the doctors and staff at St. Lukes on the Plaza are the most compassionate, caring, intelligent, and thoughtful around. A special thank you to my oncologist Dr. Jeri Hart, I was blessed to have her as my doctor because we just clicked, her bedside manner and her way of explaining things was awesome, plus she helped me keep a positive attitude.

My wonderful husband, Mark, was always by my side and was my rock. He never lost faith, even at times when I was weak physically and in spirit, he wouldn't let me linger there for long. He always reminded me that we were in this together and we would beat it. Plus, he kept me laughing, I can't tell you how many times we laughed, many times at my expense. But that was OK because when you are faced with something like this you can either face it head on and fight it or succumb to it. Well I decided early on that I was going to fight, I have way too much to live for (plus if you knew me in high school and college you know I'm a fighter).

I must say I have two of the best kids anywhere. Even though they were scared and at times did not fully understand what was going on with mommy. They were patient and so loving. They made me so many get-well cards and pictures. But the best was the snuggle time we would have, either at home or in the hospital. They handled this illness so well and I am so proud of them. Our children were precious to me before but are even more so now. I love getting my hugs and kisses from them, with Kaitlynn its easy, with Andrew he will let me as long as his friends aren't around (you know 10 year olds).

My family has been there for me every step of the way. My parents had to go through what no parent wants to, and had to do it from miles away. I know that was hard on them, not being here with me. But the times we were together I treasured so much, and when they were here they did whatever I needed, whether it was going to the hospital with me to keep me company during a blood transfusion or making my favorite pasta salad. Thanks Mom and Dad I love you so much! And Mark's family has been wonderful.

Maria moved in for close to five months while I was in the hospital and recovering at home, so she could help take care of the kids. She got them ready for school, helped with homework, did laundry, grocery shopping and much, much more. And I know that is no small feat with my two kids. But most of all she was a constant, loving presence for the children when Mark and I couldn't be here and that means the world to Mark and I.

Many of you know that Julie kept up the blog and she did an awesome job with that. Many times she was posting at 1 or 2 in the morning and then would have to get up early to keep up with her 2 year old. Julie, you are so creative with your writing you know how to say things in just the right way to convey the meaning whether it be humorous or insightful. Thanks for helping out with the kids; you watched them so much that I know Patrick thinks Kaitlynn is his sister. Thanks so much for all that you've done.

A big thanks to Jamie, or Nurse Jamie as we lovingly call her at times. She was always willing to help out with whatever I needed, watching the kids, visiting me, bringing me dinner from Cheesecake Factory (that was a good one) and especially her medical help. She knew the right questions to ask when we didn't and helped with the insurance and billing paperwork, which is a huge task.

I have to say a special thank you to my sister, Kim. She came out to visit me, even when she should have been resting herself after foot surgery. Plus, she developed some medical problems this year as well but would always be worried about me. I love you sis and here's to both of us being healthy in 2010!! Plus I don't think mom and dad could handle another year with both of us in the hospital.

Then there are all my wonderful neighbors and friends! I can't tell you how much it means to me that you sent cards, fixed meals, visited, called, blogged, emailed, donated and most of all prayed for me and my family. It is truly overwhelming when I think about all the people that have helped me. To the community of Sterling, thank you for supporting not only me but also my parents. I was blown away with the outpouring of support and prayers and donations from my hometown. There is no better place than Sterling to call home!

A huge Thank You to my friends and neighbors here in KC. Mark and I could not ask for better neighbors, when I came home the first time and saw the green ribbons on everyone's home and the "Welcome Home" sign out front and the angels the neighborhood kids colored hanging from my entryway, needless to say I was overcome with emotion. You all are not just neighbors but we consider you family, thank you for all that you have done for us. Hopefully we can repay you in Mexican food!!!!

To all the people that I've heard from across the country, and my friends from high school and college: Thank You and God Bless You! It was so fun to hear from you, believe me you helped boost my spirits. Some were people I didn’t even know but heard of my illness from their friends, prayer groups, or the blog.

Even though I got word that I was cancer free I still have a few hurdles to get over. Next week I will go in for my bone marrow biopsy. The doctor is confident it will come back negative for cancer as well. Once my counts are normal again, the doctor will remove the power port that is underneath my skin. My energy and stamina will slowly come back as well. I can tell a difference in my energy from two weeks ago, but I still get tired and weak easily (it took me a whole week to clean the house instead of one day). I've heard it could take up to a year for me to return to 'normal', whatever that is. But that's OK, I just feel blessed to have my health and the love of my family and friends.

This has been a journey I will never forget, but one that I have learned so much from and have become a stronger person. My relationships with my husband, family, and friends have become stronger as well. You know it's weird to think of but in a way having cancer brought many positive things to my life. Life...boy that word has a whole new meaning to me now.

So again, THANK YOU, for your support and prayers. You have touched my life in such a wonderful way and I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity.

Please still keep in touch if you want my home email is t-mllamas@sbcglobal.net. I hope to personally thank as many people as I can, but if I don't please know how much your support means to me. God Bless You!

Love,
Tammy

Why Chemo Sucks!

As I sit and wait for my final round to start, which it seems to be taking forever, I've thought a lot about what I've been through since January and what the Chemo treatments have been like. I have become so used to the routine when I go in for treatment that I know how each drug affects me and what I will be feeling like during treatment. For example, I know that I usually feel OK until day 3 of Chemo and then the blahs start to set in, the taste buds go, then the stomach problems start, the headaches and so on. So I decided to start a Top 10 List on...

Why Chemo Sucks!

1. Being attached to an IV pole for 4 or 5 days and carting it everywhere I go.
2. The beeping of the IV system when the chemo or saline runs out or if the line is twisted and it always seems to happen when I want to sleep.
3. Interruptions by the staff when I want to sleep or at 4:00 in the morning when they need to draw blood, weigh me, etc. (I know it's there job, but I just want to sleep)
4. Chemo Brain - I forget the easiest things or it will take me a minute to find the right word when talking, or sometimes I use the wrong word - like telling the dog to quit jumping on me and I said "Pass" instead of "Down" (Mark won't let me live that one down). Of course some people say I had this problem before cancer.
5. Chemo Gas - you don't want to know!!!!
6. The very limited channel selections on the hospital TV, I think I've seen Rambo 6 times on my different stays in the hospital. So a lot of court shows, Friends and Everybody Loves Raymond gets watched.
7. The hospital food, seriously I don't know how they come up with some of the menu items, just the smell of it makes me nauseous at times.
8. Feeling run down - like you have the flu for 10 days. Just walking up the stairs will wear me out.
9. Losing my hair - although it's not as bad as I thought it would be, plus I got some cool scarves.
10. Missing my family, it's hard to be away from them, just being able to peek in on the kids when they are sleeping is something that I take such joy in now. Plus all the hugs and love I get from them when I'm home. Mark comes to visit me every night but when he leaves I get lonely and have to look forward to the next time I see him.

Even though I have been through a lot this year and my body feels run down I also think I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life. Mark and I have a stronger relationship than ever, my kids and I have never been closer and I take so much joy in them and everything they do. I have a stronger relationship with God, actually the whole family does, it is amazing how just having a conversation with God makes me feel better. I cherish my family and friends now more than ever, they have done so much for me and my family, from the donations, food, gifts, prayers, and words of encouragement, there is no way I will be able to repay everyone - so please know how much it is appreciated. Also, I feel like I'm more patient with things, you kind of have to be when you're a cancer patient because nothing moves at the pace you want it to. My hope at the end of this journey is to come out as a better person and be able to give to others like what I have received. I hope to volunteer at the Cancer Institute and help cancer patients in any way I can even if it's just visiting them to say Hello!

Thanks to everyone who has been there for me and my family. We are forever indebted to you and so grateful to have such wonderful family and friends.

Love,

Tammy

Pizza Night Fundraiser - Thursday, Sept. 10

Pizza Night for Tammy -Thursday, Sept. 10
Don't forget the fundraiser for pizza night in Winfield, Kansas and Sterling, Kansas. The money raised goes towards Tammy’s medical bills.

Gambino’s Pizza has graciously offered to give a certain percentage of sales (with a flyer). Please mention that you are ordering as part of the fundraising event for Tammy Llamas. The date for Winfield, Kansas and Sterling, Kansas Pizza night is Thursday, Sept 10, 2009.

We would appreciate your help in spreading the word, so that the community of Winfield, Kansas and Sterling, Kansas can help in this fundraising event. If you know of anyone living in Winfield or Sterling, please call or email them the information. Every order will help reduce the medical bills for Tammy.

Download a copy of the pizza flyer for Winfield: http://www.scribd.com/doc/19585085/Pizza-Night-Winfield

Download a copy of the pizza flyer for Sterling:
http://www.scribd.com/doc/19585456/Pizza-Night-Sterling

With Love and Gratitude,
Julie Rickman

Benefit Dinner

Mark is working hard at coordinating a Benefit Dinner to help with medical costs. If you are interested in helping with this event, please send an email to UpdatesOnTammy We are trying to get a location and date. More details to come...

Summer Fun

Round Four Photos

Mass Schedule In Honor of Tammy Llamas
Prince of Peace Catholic Church
16000 West 143rd Street
Olathe, KS 66062
http://www.princeofpeace.info/
(913) 782-8864

May 16th Saturday 5:00 PM by Family & Friends
June 14th Sunday 12:00 PM by Llamas Family
July 18th Saturday 5:00 PM by Llamas Family