A Message From The Heart

Tammy

On October 20th at approximately 1:00pm I got the news we all had been hoping and praying for. My doctor's office called with the results from my PET and CAT scans...they were normal. Actually she used a lot of medical jargon and I kept asking is that good news. I finally asked "So what you are saying is there is no cancer detected in my body?" and she said that is correct. I let out a big Woo Hoo and just kept thanking her.

I immediately called Mark and through my crying and tears told him the good news. I then called my mom and she just kept thanking God. Then I called my dad, and I can only think of a couple of times I've seen my dad choked up or cry, and he started to get choked up and I could tell he was fighting back tears and I of course was crying. We were just both so happy to hear the good news. Then I called Mark's family and some of my friends I was just so happy and couldn't wait to spread the glorious news. I can't tell you the feeling that came over me when I heard that I was cancer-free. A huge weight was lifted from me and I felt reborn.

This has been a very long road with several bumps and potholes along the way, however there is no way I could have gotten through it without the help of many people. First the doctors and staff at St. Lukes on the Plaza are the most compassionate, caring, intelligent, and thoughtful around. A special thank you to my oncologist Dr. Jeri Hart, I was blessed to have her as my doctor because we just clicked, her bedside manner and her way of explaining things was awesome, plus she helped me keep a positive attitude.

My wonderful husband, Mark, was always by my side and was my rock. He never lost faith, even at times when I was weak physically and in spirit, he wouldn't let me linger there for long. He always reminded me that we were in this together and we would beat it. Plus, he kept me laughing, I can't tell you how many times we laughed, many times at my expense. But that was OK because when you are faced with something like this you can either face it head on and fight it or succumb to it. Well I decided early on that I was going to fight, I have way too much to live for (plus if you knew me in high school and college you know I'm a fighter).

I must say I have two of the best kids anywhere. Even though they were scared and at times did not fully understand what was going on with mommy. They were patient and so loving. They made me so many get-well cards and pictures. But the best was the snuggle time we would have, either at home or in the hospital. They handled this illness so well and I am so proud of them. Our children were precious to me before but are even more so now. I love getting my hugs and kisses from them, with Kaitlynn its easy, with Andrew he will let me as long as his friends aren't around (you know 10 year olds).

My family has been there for me every step of the way. My parents had to go through what no parent wants to, and had to do it from miles away. I know that was hard on them, not being here with me. But the times we were together I treasured so much, and when they were here they did whatever I needed, whether it was going to the hospital with me to keep me company during a blood transfusion or making my favorite pasta salad. Thanks Mom and Dad I love you so much! And Mark's family has been wonderful.

Maria moved in for close to five months while I was in the hospital and recovering at home, so she could help take care of the kids. She got them ready for school, helped with homework, did laundry, grocery shopping and much, much more. And I know that is no small feat with my two kids. But most of all she was a constant, loving presence for the children when Mark and I couldn't be here and that means the world to Mark and I.

Many of you know that Julie kept up the blog and she did an awesome job with that. Many times she was posting at 1 or 2 in the morning and then would have to get up early to keep up with her 2 year old. Julie, you are so creative with your writing you know how to say things in just the right way to convey the meaning whether it be humorous or insightful. Thanks for helping out with the kids; you watched them so much that I know Patrick thinks Kaitlynn is his sister. Thanks so much for all that you've done.

A big thanks to Jamie, or Nurse Jamie as we lovingly call her at times. She was always willing to help out with whatever I needed, watching the kids, visiting me, bringing me dinner from Cheesecake Factory (that was a good one) and especially her medical help. She knew the right questions to ask when we didn't and helped with the insurance and billing paperwork, which is a huge task.

I have to say a special thank you to my sister, Kim. She came out to visit me, even when she should have been resting herself after foot surgery. Plus, she developed some medical problems this year as well but would always be worried about me. I love you sis and here's to both of us being healthy in 2010!! Plus I don't think mom and dad could handle another year with both of us in the hospital.

Then there are all my wonderful neighbors and friends! I can't tell you how much it means to me that you sent cards, fixed meals, visited, called, blogged, emailed, donated and most of all prayed for me and my family. It is truly overwhelming when I think about all the people that have helped me. To the community of Sterling, thank you for supporting not only me but also my parents. I was blown away with the outpouring of support and prayers and donations from my hometown. There is no better place than Sterling to call home!

A huge Thank You to my friends and neighbors here in KC. Mark and I could not ask for better neighbors, when I came home the first time and saw the green ribbons on everyone's home and the "Welcome Home" sign out front and the angels the neighborhood kids colored hanging from my entryway, needless to say I was overcome with emotion. You all are not just neighbors but we consider you family, thank you for all that you have done for us. Hopefully we can repay you in Mexican food!!!!

To all the people that I've heard from across the country, and my friends from high school and college: Thank You and God Bless You! It was so fun to hear from you, believe me you helped boost my spirits. Some were people I didn’t even know but heard of my illness from their friends, prayer groups, or the blog.

Even though I got word that I was cancer free I still have a few hurdles to get over. Next week I will go in for my bone marrow biopsy. The doctor is confident it will come back negative for cancer as well. Once my counts are normal again, the doctor will remove the power port that is underneath my skin. My energy and stamina will slowly come back as well. I can tell a difference in my energy from two weeks ago, but I still get tired and weak easily (it took me a whole week to clean the house instead of one day). I've heard it could take up to a year for me to return to 'normal', whatever that is. But that's OK, I just feel blessed to have my health and the love of my family and friends.

This has been a journey I will never forget, but one that I have learned so much from and have become a stronger person. My relationships with my husband, family, and friends have become stronger as well. You know it's weird to think of but in a way having cancer brought many positive things to my life. Life...boy that word has a whole new meaning to me now.

So again, THANK YOU, for your support and prayers. You have touched my life in such a wonderful way and I truly appreciate your thoughtfulness and generosity.

Please still keep in touch if you want my home email is t-mllamas@sbcglobal.net. I hope to personally thank as many people as I can, but if I don't please know how much your support means to me. God Bless You!

Love,
Tammy